I Want to be a Wall Volume 3 Review
“What exactly is a ‘marriage’?”
Gaku (gay) and Yuriko (asexual) have embarked on a modern-day marriage of convenience. The fact that they’ve become life partners for mutual support – but are not romantically or sexually involved – is a secret between them. Gakurouta is still in love (one-way) with his childhood friend Sousuke (now their gardener) and Yuriko feels she is not capable of ever falling in love, although she’s a dedicated fan of Boys’ Love manga and anime.
At the end of the second volume, Yuriko was home alone when a young woman arrived, accusing her of cheating by going out with Sousuke behind her back. The third volume opens with Yuriko trying to fend off the obviously disturbed young woman who has photographs of Yuriko (only it’s not her) with Sousuke. Luckily, Sousuke appears and tells his girlfriend that the woman in the photos she’s taken is his half-sister. Yuriko is shaken by this incident, but there’s no time to process it as New Year is approaching. The care home in which Gaku’s grandmother Take-san lives asks him to look after her over the holidays. Yuriko meets the formidable elderly lady (they’ve inherited the house from her and her late husband) and the issue of children soon arises. “I have to keep fighting… until I can meet my great grandchild…”
Matters are no different when Yuriko and Gaku visit her family where – as the alcohol flows freely – Yuriko’s parents also start the ‘grandchildren’ pressure as well. Trying to explain that they don’t want to have children only confuses and disappoints Yuriko’s parents. But then, in a Zoom call with Yuriko’s gay friend Momo (who’s been very supportive to them), Momo confirms that he wants to stay in the UK with his partner Gil so that they can start a family. This causes Gaku to acknowledge the realities of their situation in Japan. “If our society had been more open-minded about us,” says Gaku, referring to his homosexuality, “if it had acknowledged our rights and our very existence, my life would have turned out completely different.” Out visiting a deer park/sanctuary together, the two are trying to come to terms with what the conversation with Momo has highlighted for them when Gaku takes a phone call from Sousuke. The call is suddenly interrupted by shouting and screams. Something must have happened to Sousuke!
Reading the final volume of I Want to Be a Wall, it’s impossible not to wish for Gaku and Yuriko to be able to live their marriage of convenience in peace, without their relatives interfering and imposing their expectations on the two. It’s really no one else’s business but their own whether they choose to become parents or not – but Honami Shirono’s manga emphasizes and highlights the traditional Japanese view of marriage [as leading to the birth of children to continue the family bloodline].
There are some painful scenes between Gaku and Yuriko as they try to see their way forward in the face of parental (and grandparental) interference. After the young woman pursues Sousuke to their house, Yuriko tries to reassure him and thoughtlessly oversteps the mark, telling him, “Someone who loves you from the bottom of their heart is already by your side at this very moment.” The words are well-intentioned but Gaku overhears her and is horrified. He’s never said anything to Sousuke about his feelings. When Sousuke has gone home, Gaku turns on Yuriko, saying, “What do you mean ‘love advice’? You’ve never fallen in love with anyone… so what would you know?” Yuriko, chastened, realizes that she has overstepped the mark and retreats, upset. We’re merely a pair of strangers.
Going home awakens memories for Yuriko of watching cartoons when she was a little girl in which the heroines that she loved always ended up with a man in ‘a happy ending’ that involved marriage and children. That isn’t my happiness. She’s come, as an adult, to understand herself and she tries – with difficulty – to articulate this self-knowledge to her parents. So it’s a touching moment when Gaku explains to her father, saying gently, “Please see it as a choice made by Yuriko-san as her own individual.”
And then there’s Sousuke and his endless succession of girlfriends but inability to settle down. It’s ironic that it’s one of his (many) girlfriends who triggers the crisis that eventually brings about some clarity as he reflects on his unsuccessful relationships and the people that really matter to him.
It’s been a wait of over a year for the final part of Honami Shirono’s story of two people embarking on a very modern kind of marriage arrangement but the mangaka brings her story to a satisfying conclusion with no easy answers. It’s fascinating that she brings us two bonus chapters, the first showing Momo joining his boyfriend Gil in London. In the second ‘A Few Years Later’ we see them as a happy family unit with an adoptive son, making the UK seem like a paradise of tolerance. Are Yuriko and Gaku still together? It’s well worth reading this final volume to find out how the resolution of their story works out.
Some slight reservations regarding the art on my part, especially the depiction of Take-san, Gaku’s grandmother; I know it’s not easy to find a successful way to draw older people but I kept seeing the wrinkles on her face as bristles and in many frames mistook her for a bearded old man.
The translation for Yen Press is again by Emma Schumacker and it flows well; there’s a helpful page of translation notes at the end. Alexis Eckerman’s lettering is also very helpful, especially in distinguishing between Zoom call conversations, speaking in a foreign language (English) and other differing means of communicating.
This short series has proved to be a different and at times moving portrayal of two people who don’t fit the societal norms as they set out to find a long-term solution to the way they live their lives. It doesn’t offer any answers but it’s an interesting exploration of the way people can find fulfilment and companionship together, even if it’s not in conventional terms.
Our review copy from Yen Press was supplied by Diamond Book Distributors UK.
