I Don’t Know How to Love Review
Men and women are the same to me. I’ll date whoever asks me out. But… I’m still going to do whatever I want. People might call me scum for that but it’s always consensual. Aimi
Upperclassman Aimi has the good looks of a model and attracts the attention of all the girls on campus. He has a firm policy of doing what he pleases, flirting with other people even when he’s in a relationship and not tolerating any complaints. Underclassman Kaede is in the college café when he hears Aimi breaking up with his girlfriend of three months as she asks, “Can’t I be enough for you?” only to be told coldly, “Things were over as soon as you started this conversation”. But what impels Kaede to go directly to Aimi’s table (the now ex-girlfriend has already left)? Is it anger at the callous way Aimi treats his partners? Whatever it is, he introduces himself and asks if it’s true that Aimi will date anyone as long as they agree to his conditions – and then blurts out, “I’m Manato Kaede. Will you… go out with me!?”. Aimi accepts. The news spreads like wildfire around the campus and Aimi finds himself being interrogated by his friends (both male and female) as to what it means. But Kaede has agreed to Aimi’s terms – a no-strings attached relationship on both sides – so they’re now officially an item.
However, it soon seems as if the relationship is going nowhere when, after a fortnight, all they’ve done is say “Hi” to each other around campus and exchange the occasional text. And then Kaede suddenly suggests having lunch together. Aimi agrees. As they chat, Aimi realizes that Kaede is very different from other people he’s dated: guileless and open, with no hidden agenda, he reminds Kaede at times of an eager dog. As they begin to spend more time together, Kaede is careful not to overstep the boundaries that Aimi has established. Aimi is intrigued yet wary. Is Kaede so selfless that he’s just happy to enjoy spending time in his company? Neither of them, it turns out, have ever dated partners of the same sex before. And when they talk to their respective friends, the friends are baffled. Which doesn’t stop Aimi kissing Kaede as a kind-of experiment to test the waters. Unfortunate, then, that not long after, Kaede sees Aimi being kissed by Akari, one of his female friends – and yet when Kaede doesn’t react, Aimi is confused. Maybe Kaede really doesn’t mind. But Aimi minds quite a lot when he spots Kaede chatting with some girls. He’s not supposed to feel anything! What’s going on?
I Don’t Know How to Love is the second of Yu Machio’s Boys’ Love manga to be published in English and the first to get a print edition. It’s a standalone and is in many ways reminiscent of a piece of chamber music, written for just a few players but very intense in its focus, construction, and effect. It’s very much dependent on the way the mangaka depicts the two central characters with just enough background art to set the scenes but everything honing in on Aimi and Kaede. Aimi’s expression on the front cover is the perfect introduction to this handsome senpai who looks so jaded and cool, yet is hiding some very real insecurities beneath his world-weary mask. Whereas Kaede on the back cover is smiling, laughing, exuding good nature and joie de vivre – such an unlikely pairing for a friendship, let alone a relationship. But that’s where the fascination of this set-up kicks in. It’s possible that Kaede initiates the challenge with the thought of teaching Aimi a lesson… but the more we get to know him, the less it seems that this was his intention (he’s a kind-natured soul with some relationship anxieties of his own).
Even though the story set-up has something in common with Seven Days by Venio Tachibana and Rihito Takarai, it’s soon evident that this story is going in a very different direction. This is where Yu Machio’s talent in creating believable, relatable characters kicks in. Certain well-worn aspects of high school and university romance are here, especially the girl with her own agenda. But it’s worth reading for Aimi’s expressions alone which are entertainingly varied from the outright scowl through all variations on boredom, indifference, annoyance…
And will anything come of this unlikely partnership? Is Kaede the partner Aimi has been looking for but has never found? Why is Aimi protecting himself from never getting involved with any of his partners by imposing his ‘rules’ on them? There are some intense discussions between the two that ring true in a way that so many Boys’ Love manga don’t in the rush to get to the sex scenes which then don’t feel earned. Aimi’s friends play an important role here as well, not so much reinforcing Aimi’s views but daring to play back to him what a heel he’s become, especially the moment when one of them raises his voice and says in exasperation, “Like geez… could you just grow up a little!!?”
These vital exchanges are vividly brought to life by Jan Cash’s translation for Yen Press, ably backed up by Amethyst Xuan’s lettering choices. There are no extras, not even a mangaka’s afterword (it’s the same for the French Hana edition) which is a pity – but if you enjoy this title, I also highly recommend We’re On Our Own From Here which is only available in digital from Kodansha Comics (2021).
I Don’t Know How to Love is one of those rare Boys’ Love manga that doesn’t take the easy road yet delivers a compelling and sometimes painful depiction of two young men discovering what it takes to make a relationship work. If this sounds a bit heavy, it’s also incredibly cute at times – and not in a saccharine way. Do read it! It’s well worth your time.
Read a free preview on the publisher’s website here.
Our review copy was supplied by Yen Press.
